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wtf this isn't my life
I don't understand how things got so complicated. I mean, I can look back and think about the series of events, but it feels surreal and impossible. How am I here? I have two weeks to think, but it's maddening. It's hard to think about anything else.

I was an idiot. Because it didn't seem possible, I didn't stop it when I could have. I had this idiotic impression that it was something other people do, but not me.

I can't make this right, but I'm trying to do the best I can to never repeat that mistake.

When it comes to relationships, I've never been in a situation where I had power. And now I have it, but I want to get rid of it so so badly. Can't someone else make this decision for me?

I'm gonna go and be real melodramatic here, but man, I feel like jumping off a bridge would be easier than making this decision. Just end it all and then there's no mistake to make, right?

I guess in summary I want to have my cake and eat it too. Om nom nom.

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